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What are the impacts of having elderly parents living with you?
Topic created By - jhawkins (24 April 2012 - 10:03:25)

If you have an elderly parent living with you how has it affected your family and family life?  How are you finding the situation?  What are the main issues you face?

Responses

Re: What are the impacts of having elderly parents living with you?
Submitted By - Oatcake 04/05/2012 23:11:08

thanks for the feedback Jessica and BarryS274 -

I also wondered if you might need any special building permissions to convert a separate building from a garage to something more domestic- would the local council be the best place to start?   
Re: What are the impacts of having elderly parents living with you?
Submitted By - ChrisMinett 07/06/2012 11:14:30 Hi Oatcake. There is an interesting article below from the Daily Mail about potential relaxation of building regulations and removal of taxes for annexes/garages that have previously been regarded as separate dwellings.  


There is also some helpful info on the OurProperty website and a direct link to the planning permission website.


Some interesting UK annex companies are here:

The US have taken things a step further with these NextGen houses, where new homes are built with a separate 'granny flat' within/attached to the main house. (I suspect if/when the concept comes to the UK, the house sizes may be slightly smaller than the square footage available in Texas!) 

Whatever the size, these kind of multi-generational households are likely to become more regular with our ageing population. In the next 20 years there will be 60% more people aged over 65, than there is today - that's an extra 6 million people - and the system is already struggling to cope. Hence the benefit for people becoming aware of the potential impacts of ageing, care and care planning and the value of websites such as EngageWithYou, which can help people prepare for the years ahead. 
Re: What are the impacts of having elderly parents living with you?
Submitted By - ChrisMinett 07/06/2012 11:51:47 And some more interesting UK accommodation here!  
Re: What are the impacts of having elderly parents living with you?
Submitted By - barrys274 30/04/2012 15:50:12

When we invited my Nan to come and live with us because she could no longer manage by herself we were pleased that we did have the room so that she could have her own living room and watch what she wanted to watch, have her space and do what she liked. 

What we hadn't counted on was that after years of living alone what she really longed for was the company of her family.  I cannot once remember Nan going to use this space for herself.  We however as teenagers also wanted our own space and would frequently find a quiet corner of the house.  Perhaps if Garages should be converted it should be for the kids and not the grandparents? 

I look back now with sadness that the view of a fifteen year old teenager is blinkered at the time, seeing older grandparents as an inconvenience.  She was a lovely lady and was so kind.  Despite a rota of aunts to help out with her care at our home, she eventually needed more permanent care as dementia took its course.
Re: What are the impacts of having elderly parents living with you?
Submitted By - Oatcake 27/04/2012 20:30:26

We are thinking about having my Mum come to live with us at some stage. One option (she quite likes) is for us to convert our garage so that she has her own space (and we have ours!).  But getting her to commit to the move while she is still healthy although aged 80 is not easy. It seems as though the only thing that is going to finally trigger her to move is something going wrong, which isn't ideal.

With regard to the impact of this arrangement, I'm pretty much in the dark....??? anyone else done something similar????
Re: What are the impacts of having elderly parents living with you?
Submitted By - Jessica 27/04/2012 21:03:07 If you can have your own space I think it helps considerably.  When my grandmother came to live with us for a while (after an operation) we didn't have that and there were pressure points around the small things: which tv channels to watch, what time food is served, what time people go to bed and get up etc.  It was a bit of a culture clash and one of those things that causes you resentment the inside but then you can't say anything because it's only a minor thing.

It wasn't all bad - there was a lot of good too but space would have made it a much happier experience for all of us.